“It is in this solitude
That we discover that being
Is more important than having,
And that we are worth more
Than the result of our efforts.”
Henri J.M. Nouwen
“But He said to them, ‘Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth’” (Mark 1:38, NKJV).
I remember quietly passing the threshold of my 60th birthday. The anticipation faded quickly into remembrance. I got over it. The feeling was like sweeping dirt under the rug and forgetting about it. Besides, turning any age has no sight, feel, sound, smell or touch.
A cliché might fit here but thinking it or writing it is an exercise in futility. My secret longings for youth or resisting old age avail me nothing. The calendar possesses constancy. Birthdays win!
In my youth, I longed for a “see, feel, hear, smell, and touch” faith, something I could control or develop. I confused God’s gift with talent. My years revealed the unseen is more elusive, more leading than following, a gift from the Holy Spirit.
Now, who can manage the unseen? I thought I could. My efforts proved to be a form of resistance to God’s leading. I came to the question; how do I march forth from grace? I heard God’s answer – to love Me and resist my Spirit is illogical. But what does “how” look like and where does the Spirit lead?
I spent my years failing to take my thinking beyond those ego compensations that so allured me. My efforts blinded me to the gifts God had given me. I thought to pursue excellence through talent was a means to honor God. But God had no interest in my will, only my undivided attention in pursuing His. I know the difference now.
“Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God” (2 Corinthians 9: 10,11 NKJV).
As talent will, mine has waned. DNA does not last forever. But, in His service, my gifts abound. They were there all along for His purpose. God’s gifts are for eternity. Golf is just a lifetime.
“So, let each one give as he purposes in his heart; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:7,8, NKJV).
When Pharaoh summoned Joseph to interpret Pharaoh’s dream, Pharaoh said to him, “I have heard it said of you that you can understand a dream, to interpret it.” Joseph replied, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh an answer of peace.” And so, it is with gifts from God.
“Those who have ears to hear, let them hear” (Matthew 11:15, NKJV).